On prioritizing
Squeaky wheels, DNF, and fighting for the time to tend to what we really care about
Hello and welcome to this week’s edition of The Bell!
I haven’t watched any tv shows since the end of March. Not one minute of television.
Maybe that’s normal for some of you, but it’s quite out of the ordinary for me. I love to get swept away in the world of a really good tv series—almost as much as I love to get swept away in a good book.
But my family has been uprooted since the end of March… a period that has proven pretty difficult… and I just haven’t had the time or energy to open my laptop and click play on a show.
This means I’m way behind. Even more than usual.
This isn’t a brag! I used to brag about not owning a television and then I bought one and plunked it in my bedroom (0 to 60, I know) and never looked back. The bedroom is the best place for the tv if you’re not a person who has trouble turning it off, and I will die on this hill.
But I really miss relaxing in bed, watching a few really engaging episodes, texting friends who are following the same series.
I’m also behind on podcasts. Before my baby was born, I’d listen to one podcast after another throughout my day, except when I was working. Now, anytime my daughter is awake and we’re together, I don’t have headphones in my ears. Often I don’t listen to anything even when she’s sleeping, unless I’m also relaxing (rare). I find that when she’s asleep and I need to be productive, splitting my attention makes me less efficient at whatever task I’m doing.
And yes, I’m also behind on books. Part of that is due to being separated from my library. Part of it, like tv, is time and energy.
This has made me extremely particular about what podcasts I do listen to when I get a chance, what books I read, and when I eventually get back to tv, what shows I will watch.
It has also changed me from a person who commits to a book or an episode all the way through even if it doesn’t grab me at the start to a DNF (did not finish) person! It feels odd but freeing to just click pause on something and abandon it forever.
It doesn’t sound very groundbreaking to get choosier about what media you consume because you’re busy.
But it’s part of a larger shift into my Internal Struggle era precipitated by motherhood: I always believed that being forced, by circumstance, to choose between competing priorities in life would make my top priorities totally clear. But for me… it doesn’t.
In most cases, what actually rises to the highest priority is what’s most urgent in the moment. Not what’s most important in the long run. Squeaky wheel, and all that.
This newsletter, for example, is deeply important to me. I have so many ideas for it, so many auxiliary business ideas, so much supporting content I want to make for Instagram, and the wheels of these ideas turn in my head 24/7.
In a way, my newsletter and other creative ideas have crowded out podcasts as a priority entirely because I need to guard my precious mental space to think about it. But the time to sit down and write so often escapes me. I’m spending time with my baby, who I’m painfully conscious is only a baby for a very short time. I’m spending precious time with family. There’s a house project that needs my attention. I need to sit down and plan logistics, book the next trip. The endless cycle of errands and laundry and admin and what’s-for-the-next-meal marches on.
What does all this have to do with the ethos of this newsletter? Well, if we resist choosing the fast fashion, the immediate Amazon purchase, the instant gratification… why do we give in, over and over, to the thing in life that seems the most urgent while putting off our actual priorities, the important things, the deeper investments???
Those aren’t the squeaky wheels. It’s the quiet voice of your soul that tickles the back of your consciousness saying, not LOOK AT ME, but, remember me?
So we must tend to them through effort. Yes, more effort when we’re already so tired.
As of yesterday, I’ve committed to a block of work at least three times a week, where I can sit down with my computer and tend to my actual priorities. I have the support I need to make it happen, both through childcare and protecting this time for its intended purpose. I’m taking on some projects for my business ghostwriting job again, so those work blocks will have to be split between this newsletter and that, but I can get it done.
Because if motherhood didn’t automatically serve up my top priorities to me on a silver platter, it did serve up one thing: superhuman efficiency.
So I will talk to you Friday with this week’s recs!
What kinds of priorities have gotten pushed out of your day in favor of squeaky wheels? Leave a comment.
xx Jane