The Belle: My system for daily wellness
This newsletter does not contain the word skincare even one time
Hello!
I’m really excited about this edition of the newsletter and I’m sorry it’s arriving late!
I want to share something this week that has been incredibly helpful to me over the last 6+ months as an accountability tool for taking care of myself. And I want to preface it by saying: If you’re put off by the whiff of hustle culture and self-righteousness masquerading as self-care and self-improvement, bear with me. I promise you this is not that.
I’m not a Type A person, I don’t have a morning routine, and I get the ick from self-help books promising that this habit or that daily practice will transform you into the person you’ve always wanted to be. I know there’s tons of scientific studies and whatnot about those habits—I just find it all tedious and so much pressure. I think feeling good is a very basic formula at its core (fresh air, sleep, water, sunshine, healthy food, etc.) and beyond that, it’s very personal.
So, I created this very personalizable system because last fall, I was in one of those periods I’m sure we all have, where I wasn’t doing super well mentally or physically for weeks at a time. Eventually I had enough and decided to do something about it. “Doing something,” for me, usually starts with a list.
So I opened up the Notes app on my phone and started listing the things—habits, occurrences, interactions, calendar items—that reliably contribute to me feeling good. I say ‘contribute’ because no one of them is a magic fix individually. Nothing in life is.
At the top of the list, I wrote “Healthy 10+ Every Day.” My hypothesis was that if every single day, I checked off at least ten—any ten—of the things that contribute to feeling good, I could know for sure I was taking care of myself and over time I’d lift and sustain my mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being.
I’d never done something like this before; I just came up with it one day during a cooldown ride on my Peloton bike (can you imagine if this whole thing was spon-con for Peloton?!!) because cardio exercise is usually my first line of defense when I’m feeling down.
But this time, I was looking for something more holistic, without being a lifestyle overhaul. Or, like, a huge bummer of a plan that takes away all the fun stuff in life in service of “optimal health.” I’m just not that interested in optimizing! It sounds like a stressful, boring time which is the opposite of feeling good. Maybe you have a different perspective and I hold space for you here. But I’m interested in taking care of myself consistently, intuitively, and sustainably, allowing for fluctuations in mood, and above all being true to who I am.
So it’s from that place that I made this system.
Disclaimer: I am not an expert, nor a doctor, nor do I have a graduate degree of any kind actually, or any letters after my name that I could spin, if I wanted to, into the appearance of expertise on this topic to swindle you into buying something. Nothing is for sale, except one fake tree at the very bottom. If you make a list like this, you get to decide what goes on it. You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul. Okay, cool. Moving on.
My list includes the following, among other items that I left out of this public-facing newsletter because one’s personal wellness is, after all, personal.
Healthy 10+ Every Day
8.5+ hours of sleep
Fresh air
Sweat
Electrolytes
Hydration (64+ oz)
Focused work
Creativity
Whole food nourishment
Social connection
Beauty
Real clothes
Gratitude
Prayer or meditation
Stretching
Reading
Cooking
Admin
Fun
Housework
Music
Steam room
Then I added a second section for *extra* feel-good things, and made them worth two points towards my daily 10.
Bonus (counts for 2):
Date night or day
Yoga class
Massage, facial, haircut, manicure, or pedicure
Phone call to a loved one
Friend date
Cultural activity
Accomplishing a task I’ve been putting off
The list is fluid and I occasionally add more things, though I’ve never taken anything off. You might choose different things for your own list: dancing, gardening, time with kids, learning a foreign language, watching a tv show you love, hanging out with your pet, buying flowers… you get the idea.
At the start, I went through the checklist every day. I needed an extra push to walk more, hydrate more, opt for music over a podcast, etc., to get myself back to a place of good health. I started feeling a little better within days of starting, and quite a bit better within weeks. I don’t go through the checklist every day anymore, but it’s always in the back of my mind now. For example, after a session with my personal trainer, I know I checked off sweat, electrolytes (shout out Liquid IV), social connection, and sometimes stretch and steam room, plus fresh air from the walk to the gym. Just through one activity, I’m halfway to my 10!
And it works! For me at least!
I never created this system to be shared, but it’s been such a good resource for taking care of myself in a gentle, sustainable way that I thought, why keep it to myself if it might resonate with others?
What I love about this system
It’s additive, rather than subtractive. I personally feel more motivated when I have a list of things to do rather than a list of things not to do. For example, ‘no sugar’ doesn’t qualify to make the list but ‘whole food nourishment’ does.
It’s flexible. I got a vegan ice cream at 4 pm on Tuesday and then felt too full to eat the healthy dinner I had planned. But it was a one-off whim, and there were rainbow sprinkles. 10/10 experience. I checked off ‘fun’ that day but not ‘whole food nourishment.’
It gives me data on my actions vs. my intentions. After several weeks of doing this checklist daily, I started to notice patterns. I always check off ‘housework’ (yes, I take pleasure in housework and it contributes to my well-being) but at the time I never checked off ‘creativity’ once in three months. That was part of the impetus to start this newsletter, take drawing classes online, and a number of other recent creative pursuits. And my well-being is more well-rounded now that I engage in creativity a few times a week.
What do you think? Are you vibing with this system? Should I try to land a book deal and launch a global speaking career claiming this is the only way to true enlightenment?
Recs for your week
Making: Frozen chocolate banana yogurt clusters from Half Baked Harvest
With Memorial Day weekend, frozen treat season commences! I wanted to have these in my freezer as a healthier alternative to ice cream.
Reading: “The Age of Average” by Alex Murrell
Last week I shared a post on my Instagram stories showing how all detail has gone out of contemporary design, causing cities to lose a lot of their unique character. This article is a comprehensive treatise on that, and worth a read if you’re interested in design and aesthetics. Claire and Erica of the A Thing or Two podcast also recently complained about the new brand identity of Kate’s, a New England butter brand I also buy and love. I noticed and felt sad about the rebrand, so when it came up on the podcast, that validated my sense of loss. The packaging used to be cute and farm-y and unpretentious, and now it’s a bit over-designed and hipster.
Watching: Alison Roman’s cooking show on YouTube
Wow you guys, I have been sleeping on this cooking show. I have all of Alison Roman’s cookbooks except the most recent release and her recipes always hit. She’s also very fun on camera and the shows are brief and super well-produced.
Doing: Taking a break from caffeine
I love coffee, but I’ve always been a caffeine-sensitive person, drinking just one cup of coffee in the morning. But last week I decided to go without that coffee for a while and see how I felt. The first couple of days were rough, but a week on, I wake up clear in the morning, fall asleep quickly at night, and sleep great. Unfortunately this trial period is going well. Decaf for the foreseeable future!
Listening: Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross on Armchair Expert
I listen to a lot of episodes of Armchair and I’m still thinking about this one literally months later. Speaking of today’s wellness topic, it’s all about the effects of art and aesthetics on your well-being.
Buying: A very good-quality fake olive tree
This olive tree is in my living room and it has unexpectedly become a bestseller among my friends, lol. They always want to know if it’s real, even seeing it in person. I do not have the gardening skills to grow an olive tree with fruit in my city apartment, though I’m flattered you think I do. Thought I’d pop a link here in case you also want to trick your friends.
That’s all I’ve got for today! If you enjoyed this newsletter, a like or subscribe helps new people find me. And I genuinely would like to hear what would be on your wellness list - let’s chat in the comments!
Hope you have a fabulous Memorial Day weekend and I’ll talk to you next week!
xx Jane
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Love this! This is a thing! It is especially helpful for people stuck in depressive episodes. I’d come up with lists with clients and things like showering, washing hair (even if someone else did it for them), eating off a plate, changing clothes, sleeping in a bed, and taking the trash out were fairly standard. They’d then commit to how many they would try to do a day. I asked for 1-3 a day. It was heartbreaking how overwhelming that ask could seem.
It is heartening to see that concept applied in a positive, ambitious way. (10 is a lot!) Hoping it results in your happiest self.
Jane all good / lots of great ideas. What could be easy for one and tough for others. So easy for me to drink 64oz of h20 a day - walking outdoors is getting to be dangerous in this day and age-that is depressing In its self. How do I find a good steam as that sounds heavenly! I agree about the Caffein. So great to learn from each other😊Some days I do great on my list the next I can be a bit un-motivated 😉we must cheer each other on💞Xo Xo Aunt Patty